Sunday, July 19, 2009


What time, in the rest of the world, does the milkman deliver milk?
Because here, In our little corner of the earth, apparently he delivers at 12:30 am.
That's right. The Winder Dairy truck pulled up across the street at 12:30 in the morning and dashed up to the porch across the street to leave a little deposit.
Seriously- I thought the whole milkman thing was a joke.
It's summertime- and tonight, the low is supposed to get down to 75 degrees- I wonder what the Health Department would have to say about dairy products staying out all night in 77 degree heat? Apparently the social worker husband abuser knows where to get hers from at any time of day or night...

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

From Here the World Looks Like a Giant Buffet of Crippling Opportunities.

"I just really love buffets and that is why I am crippled," the pot smoking abuser from next door mumbles to me, grabbing his chest as I try to mutter a polite response and walk away without looking like I'm sprinting. Unfortunately when cornered in your own yard, there aren't many options of where to go, just back to the porch. And unfortunately, this awkward response of mine probably indicates that we are now best friends and he will now randomly stop by and have horrible conversations with us like our old neighbor with a shotgun and a Chinese mail-order-bride.

I am not exactly sure how buffets make you crippled, I am not exactly sure that he was actually crippled. He walks just fine, and from the police pounding on their door at all times of the day and night we for sure know he is not too crippled to beat his wife. However, he apparently became crippled from too many buffets. Therefore: the moral of the story, don't eat at too many buffets, or else you will become a crippled wife beater.

Photo by

Tuesday, July 14, 2009


We finally did it. We're finally rolling. There is so much to see from our vantage point, in the house we've made our home. The Hot Chocolate Bauhaus of Provo's East side.

With an inordinate amount of time spent on the porch, there's lots of people watching to do... we feel that there is a specific texture to this hood that ought to be known to the rest of the world. To you, dear reader. So here it is.
Christopher Robin would've said, 'Tut, tut! It looks like rain!'

Bill Murray would say 'It looks like a miracle.'

Mike Meyers might exclaim, 'It looks she was beaten with an ugly stick.'

Without further ado, we'll tell you exactly how it looks from here. There's a particularly interesting cast of characters, regulars, you might say. They form the precious microcosm of human activity in this part of the world- a delectable cocktail of delight and sheer entertainment. Come over sometime- you might just make the list.